Saturday, January 22, 2011

Anti-Love Poem

Don’t talk to me about love.

These words, I love you,
like stale, hard, heart-shaped
confections, boxed in pale,
pink-colored cardboard,
sicken me now.

These dusty, Hallmark card sentiments—
You’re my favorite,
My one and only,
Be mine,
I love you forever
crumble with age
to thin, unforgiving pieces.

No, I don’t want your box
of chocolates or pretty flowers,
your candlelit dinners, your clichéd poems,
your undying devotion, wrapped
in small, pitiful ribbons.

I’d rather have the blade,
the sharpest edge of you,
so I might know just how lethal you are.

I’d rather stare into your dark barrels,
your murderous eyes,
and kiss your lips to die for
until I die.

I want your generous thighs between my legs,
your full breasts in my face.

I want to suck
on the hardest parts of you
until you cry because no one
has ever swallowed so much.

I want to push,
push you to your limits
until you balance there, uncertain,
afraid, and then dive,
head-first suicide into unknown territory.

And I want to be where you land,
broken and yet alive.

You will never hurt this much again.

I can promise you:

I will stab you in your back,
and I will lick the knife
you’ve plunged into my flesh.

I will bore you to tears
and will sit listening, while you bore me.

I will stand toe-to-toe with you,
unblinking in the face of your disaster.

Forget this ethereal,
wafting, inconstant love.

I want blood, baby.

© Ami Mattison, 2011

Previously published in Java Monkey Speaks, Vol. 3, edited by Kodak Harrison and Collin Kelley (Atlanta: 2008).


  1. Bearing in mind that I derive all my philosophy from watching reruns of "The Unit", (so that I can drool over Kim Brown) here is some that springs to mind:

    "(S)he who seeks revenge had better dig two graves."

    Then again, this sounds like the speaker has climbed out of hers, re-animated, for this single purpose. I'm loving that last line. Even reanimated, the words love you, don't they? Shameless things.

    Nonetheless, I'm still going with "the best revenge is living well." That wasn't on "The Unit". But still.

    Lastly, I'm still gonna call my favorite "Favorite." She'll beat me like a red-headed stepchild if I don't! ;-)

  2. Fireblossom, your philosophy is soooo much healthier (and safer) than that of the speaker in this poem.

    I wrote this on Valentine's day a few years back, and I was obviously in a grouchy mood. So, don't listen to me.

    Be sure to call your favorite "Favorite" and say "I love you" a lot. Turns out that stuff is better for healthy love relationships. ;)

    Thanks, as always, for dropping some wisdom on me!

  3. really glad ami and fireblossom connected here-- and, "I want blood, baby". Whoooo. xxxj

  4. p.s.-- antispam word was dicsdic . now that's sick. xxxj