Insomniac Night

Listen to audio version:

When the insomniac night finally ends,

I am here as I have always been, watching

light break the dark horizon, trying to keep time

with some rhyme and reason.

Should I let go and abandon this dreaming?

Or dare I walk towards the dawning of a new day

measured by the sway of my uncertain movement

towards a vague destination where I might find

some tangible sign for living

like the pulse

of a lover

waiting for me there.

Incessant is my desire to name these dark roads,

to scan the landscape of my vision

so I might know if I’m coming

or going.

Incessant is my need for what I cannot name,

for what’s been lost, what’s been gained.

Feel the sacrifice.

Fear.

Passion.

Power.

I am helpless

against this blinding,

limitless,

unceasing

need.

There is no map to mark the wanderings of a soul

made restless by insatiable desire to stay

the winding course towards what eludes it.

Incessant,

I will die

if i must,

but I will not

give up.

© Ami Mattison

* Insomniac Night was inspired by the song "Incessant" by Sonia Tetlow.

Flickr photo courtesy of Mara ~earth light~